I just glanced at some of my posts here, and felt enthused that I've been keeping this blog. I'm only sorry that I stopped doing it. And why did I? Because I listened, inevitably, to idiot voices from outside that appealed to the idiot voices within me: my monkey mind.
These blogs aren't here to be perfect. They're here for me to experiement with self expression, freely, from a true state of unselfconsciousness. They aren't here for me to be consistently brilliant, or to appeal to other people. They're here just to be here.
I'm who I am, and I'm unfolding, in part with the help of these blogs. It's healthy for me to do them, and they encourage me to express myself even more, and find the voice I may never have truly had.
They're for me to explore my life, my universe. They aren't here to impress anyone. If the do, or if they don't, then that's just the way it is.
I have the right to be, and the right to express myself. This is one mode of my free expression, and it's important to me.
So be it.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Back again
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6 comments:
what were the outside voices that stopped you?
What outside voices? Who knows? External critics, who ganged up with my internal critics.
Isn't that always the case?
often is
Yes, it's a bugger. Because it means the flow stops. How can you be prolific when all it takes is enough criticism to affect you?
It stands to reason that anyone who's really trying to break new ground will get stiff opposition, externally and internally. It seems we're bound by our limiting belief systems, if there's enough external support for them.
I suppose we all have a breaking point, not just physically but mentally, emotionally, spiritually, morally, ethically, and just about in every way.
I sometimes wonder if how, where and when we get influenced in our lives is just a matter of chance.
The thing about this blog, I suppose, is that I really need to just carry on regardless. I know that it's not a finished product. It's not meant to be. It's what it is, and deliberately so. I know that if I'm to trult grow, creatively, it means turning off the internal critic, and also being immune to external criticism.
But that's easier said than done, I suppose.
Heigh ho!
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