What to do

So now I'm wondering what to do with the rest of my life.

Where are things going now, I wonder? And where do I fit into the scheme of things? And how many others are thinking the same thing?

Where am I going with this blog, which was originally some kind of homage to philosophy and truth, personal and global? Am I on target with it, or is it possible to be "on target" with anything?

I was out running this morning, and it occurred to me that everything follows fashion, in that it comes into favour and goes out again. Whether it's peace, war, wealth, industry, chaos, order, joy, love, emptiness, fullness...anything and everything is transitory. Even the ideals we hold dear... the morals and values which one day might seem so right or perfect or sensible or just, can dissolve into oblivion, and yet be resurrected again some day like some retro clothing or band.

So it really is such an illusion, all of it. And maybe that's where the whole ego thing comes in. I mean, who am I to think my success or brilliance really is of my own, totally? If I'm the product of chance or fate or the coming together of some arbitrary moments, molecules or even some miracles, can I really claim credit for that?

All of it, and I, too, am a wonderful mystery. And my very existence is something for me to be in awe of, regardless of what my so-called social standing is in regard to others.

Having said that, I wouldn't say "no" to a few million bucks. Then I could ponder this stuff from a different perspective, at least.