Relationships

When I think about the way I've treated relationships till recently, I realise I always saw myself as being resonsible for the feelings of the other person way too much, just as I expected them to be more responsible for my feelings than was entirely healthy.

Any relationship we have with another adult doesn't require any duty other than honesty and openness. To make any demands of another isn't love, just as much as manipulating or deceiving them isn't love.

I can look back now at relationships that I thought were really good in many ways, and I can plainly see now where my acceptance of responsibility was taken advantage of. There were many times that I was attracted to another person, yet my sense of duty, in addition to my fear of being alone and inability to risk, meant I didn't dare leave for fear of entering something worse.

But I can honestly say now, having walked out of what was an abusive relationship - yet again - I feel so strong on my own that I can do that again and again, easily. That makes me a powerful man, and an attractive one! Knowing that I don't need a woman means I'm powerful. Knowing I can walk away feels really good.

And the same can be said of so many things in life. So long as I'm independant, and creative, I'm master of my own destiny. So long as I'm not too attached to what I do, I can do anything.

And so long as I have free time, and am not stuck in some full time job, the slave to some corporation, I can do the things I really like to do like write and think and paint and create - and act!