Motivation issues - again

I'm thinking about my confidence, and how I can turn it on when I really feel I need and want to. But one thing I feel I've been having a problem with - have had a problem with my whole life - is consistency of good motivations.

I like being motivated. I love the feeling of getting up in the morning with an adventure on my mind. There's nothing like it. Just having that wonderful surge of enthusiasm, being able to do something really fun or important or worthwhile or exciting, is my idea of heaven.

Right now I'm aware of not being "in the loop", motivation-wise. What's that about?

But I do know to focus on the solution.

The solution to the motivation issues.

Affirmations:

I am happily motivated.

I'm happily motivated. I get up early, I focus on what needs to be done, I have a sense of importance in my life, and I receive and accept support when I where I need to, so that I thrive and mend, heal and do well in my life.

I wonder how many people have brain damage? And how much their brain damage limits them in their lives, as well as giving others the impression that their lives are great?

I sincerely wonder just how much "successful" people enjoy their successes, or are so obsessed with image that they couldn't do without it?

After all, what is a successful image, if you need it to intimidate others? What is a "successful" image, if it means other people fear you, and it means you have a mask that prevents people ever really knowing you? Is it successful to live in a castle and be distant from everyone else, with everyone looking upon you with "respect", and placing you on some impossible pedestal? Is that success?

These are the kinds of issues that have stumped me, motivation-wise. I realise that many people have achieved "success" though unhealthy or corrupt motivation. There's nothing to say that motivation has to be pure, or essentially good, after all.

But I do know I'm not interested in motivation purely for the sake of image. If image is a part of it, then I understand that. But image as a raison d'etre?

Not my cup of tea - although I confess it has been.

I guess what I'm talking about now is apathy. Perhaps I need to look up the antonym.

Well, of course it's passion.